If you look up Cunt in the dictionary, you'll find a big picture of Republican Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin. If you look up Sarah Palin in the dictionary, you'll find the words, "See Cunt".
I used to think Dan Quayle's doppelganger was just a stupid white trash whore who liked Jesus too much. However, after seeing her shrill (yes, I said it too, Harry Reid) performance last night, I think she might be the biggest cunt in the entire world.
In light of her ridiculous tirade, I've decide to put together a list of people (and animals) I like more than Sarah Palin. It would have been easier to just say "everyone", but this is more fun.
So, without further adieu, I present Iron Mike's List of People (and Animals) He Likes Better Than Sarah Palin:
- Rudy Giulian (but not by much)
- Bristol Palin, the political child most likely to have a sex tape within the next 2 years
- Anne Coulter (yes, there's somebody I like less than Anne Coulter)
- Mr. Fontana, the assistant principal at my junior high
- Kim Jung Il (Sarah looks a lot like him)
- Allison from the best episode of Intervention ever
- The cop who gave me a DUI, just like Todd Palin
- The 2 Girls from 2 Girls 1 Cup
- Peggy Noonan, especially after her live mic remarks
- The guy who made a hat out of his hair
- Mel Gibson, Michael Richards and Dog the Bounty Hunter
- Xiguang, the heroin-addicted elephant
- Dick Cheney (Yes, Dick Cheney!)
- Trig Palin, the Corky of the New Millenium
- The idiot I punched for messing with my wife
- Every Eskimo except for Yup'iks
- Bill O'Reilly (at least he has an excuse for being an asshole -- he has a VERY small penis)
- Todd Palin's business partner
- Jerry Lewis with his bloated face
- James Dobson (I'm only kidding)
- The Penis Fencing Flatworms
- Walter Monegan, the victim of Troopergate
- Angel Pantoja Medina, the Puerto Rican who got buried standing up
- The Jonas Brothers, except for Nick (I hate him!!)
- The guy from Obama's campaign who keeps spamming me for $5
- Helen Mirren when she speaks
- The Spaghetti Cat
I'm all for hiring vaginally endowed politicians, just not Sarah Palin. I'll bet the next big bombshell is that she doesn't really have a vagina.