Thank You George W. Bush

For July 4th Weekend, I'm headed to Austin, the last place George W. Bush lived before he moved into the White House. A lot of people wish he would have stayed in Texas. Not me. I think he's been extremely successful throughout his tenure in DC. Subsequently, I would personally like to thank George W. Bush for all the great things he's done over the past 7 1/2 years:

- Thank you for making a gallon of gas cost more than a gallon of Cristal.
- Thank you for making me ashamed to say I'm American anywhere outside of America.
- Thank you for making Dan Quayle look intelligent.
- Thank you for making the US dollar worth 1/15 of a Euro.
- Thank you for killing more Americans in Iraq than Iraqis in Iraq.
- Thank you for chlamydia, herpes, and anal warts.
- Thank you for hiring Ben Bernanke.
- Thank you for destroying our international diplomatic credibility.
- Thank you for infringing upon just about every civil liberty that Americans have.
- Thank you for the discontinuation of Burger King's Italian Chicken Sandwich.
- Thank you for turning a budget surplus into an inconceivable deficit.
- Thank you for appointing assholes like John Roberts and Sam Alito to the Supreme Court.
- Thank you for allowing your daughter to marry and potentially procreate.
- Thank you for the sub-prime mortgage crisis.
- Thank you for subcontracting a large portion of our war efforts to maniacs.
- Thank you for making The Love Guru suck.
- Thank you for ignoring Darfur, Somalia, and every other African country in turmoil because black people live there and they don't have as much oil as the Middle East.
- Thank you for establishing and operating the Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp.
- Thank you for fucking up the whole Katrina situation.
- Thank you for not getting Gabrielle Carteris a cameo on the remake of Beverly Hills 90210.
- Thank you for not ratifying the Kyoto Protocol and not giving a shit about greenhouse gases or anything else that will fuck up our environment for eternity.
- Thank you for not finding Osama Bin Laden.

Thank you, George W. Bush, for all you are and for all you've done!